Wednesday

7 Ways Successful Parents Save Money

Have you ever wondered how some parents can set goals to save money while you can't?  Well, the following tips were inspired by those parents who successfully did it and are retired happily.  Instead of putting children's wants above goals, like many financially challenged people do, successful parents examine what is best for family while encouraging an atmosphere that is self-less rather than selfish.

1.  They don't take their children everywhere they go.

Most often when you go somewhere that caters to families, a little person in the group is going to want something.  To avoid the headache of "I want," from a child, it is up to parents and grandparents with little money and even less patience, to leave children at home when shopping for essentials.  Parents who are going through a financially difficult time, leave children's wants out of conversations, and focus on priorities like keeping utilities on and a roof over the family's heads.  If a child should want something, the financially successful parents make the child earn what it is that they want by doing chores and once older seeking a job.

2.  They turn down any invite that they consider an unnecessary expense or not worth their time.

An event that might churn up an offer to babysit for free is a good deal, but an event that costs more to plan to attend plus additional charges like tickets, hotel, gas, etc. might be a waste.  People who believe in saving money don't bother to attend too many activities, especially kid-related, if it is going to cost much money and hassle to get there.  Children can produce major headaches, why have another one over how much something costs?

3.  They don't sign up their children for extracurricular activities "...just because."

Unless you can afford to sign up a child for a certain activity "...because she just wants to do it..." why spend the money?  Parents who often complain about not having any money tend not to tell themselves or their children, "No."  As a result, they suffer financially sooner or later.  They fail to look beyond the registration cost, the equipment that needs to be bought, workdays missed, gas expenses to attend games, and more.

4.  They don't buy brand names when they shop and choose to only focus on sale items.

Not all merchandise labeled is really "on sale."  There are inflated manufacturer prices that are printed on labels and then a price markdown.  Why not shop around for additional price mark downs or wait?  Money conscious parents know how to shop for cheaper alternatives or wait until the price is right for their budget, but those who have spoiled children feel pressure to appease.

5.  They don't make promises to children that involve spending money they don't have.

How many times have you heard a parent say, "Well, I am doing this because I promised..."  Money doesn't grow on trees and just because a child says, "But Mommy you said..." doesn't mean that you are obligated to do everything that you say or else.  A parent might want to check his or her bank account before saying anything to a child about buying something for him or her.

6.  They look for freebies and discounts on things like health care, toys, places to visit, clothing and shoes.

Think of the money you can save if you just take the time to research (I personally use ebates, see link on top right corner of blog).  Parents who have a tight budget can't afford to waste money.  Some parents will spend much money walking across the street to buy certain items rather than driving a little further down the street to find the same goods on sale.

7.  They buy goods that they need now and save for future wants.

Children can put pressure on you to buy now rather than later.  Don't fall for the cries, exaggerations, lies, promises and everything else they come up with to force you or someone else in your family to do what they want.  A stressed parent who is trying to pay bills, celebrate holidays, and plan family vacation may want to consider cutting some things out while remaining positive about saving money.  The more negative the attitude is about putting money away for unexpected issues, the less likely one will do it, so stay positive and teach your children to do the same!

Nicholl McGuire  

Saturday

Mothers all over the world can speak up about more than just family related issues





Tina Louise's Speech - Mother's Against Fracking Rally 30.03.14.



A good example of making a public stand against government actions.  When you are aware of an issue, research it, gather those who aren't fearful to stand in agreement, and expose the issue for what it is!



"A slang term for hydraulic fracturing. Fracking refers to the procedure of creating fractures in rocks and rock formations by injecting fluid into cracks to force them further open. The larger fissures allow more oil and gas to flow out of the formation and into the wellbore, from where it can be extracted."-- Investopedia.com

Mothers Rally Together About a Variety of Issues - Get Some Ideas Watch 2014 Videos

Mothers rally to push for breastfeeding as valid exemption from jury duty







Mothers rally to reduce C-section birth rate








Stop Common Core in New Your State









Friday

EXPOSING Satanic 2014 Grammy Awards and a STRONG WARNING from the Lord!


Children Get Older, Get Bolder

There are mothers in jail crying because they shortened the life of a spouse, children or even a loved one, because of a child's misdeeds.  These women lost it--went mad, became afraid and defended their selves, or went through some kind of dilemma that they felt gave them no choice but to hurt another human being permanently.

"Never say what you will never do and never be too sure that all those around you are mentally stable," I thought after being tested one day by one of my children.  If it wasn't for my faith, I can boldly say, I don't know where I would be today.

As children get older, they grow bolder in what they say and do.  You can only pray that God keeps his hand on your mouth and a hand on your shoulder.  From deep sighs to yelling, you recall those days you sacrificed much for your children and then the nerve of them...

I have listened to the stories of mothers who didn't take what their children did and said lightly especially when they acted in ways that were downright wrong!  They usually end their stories with something like, "Those kids are lucky I didn't kill them...They should be grateful I'm not in jail because of them..."

When one is tempted to lose it, you can do some things only if you are able to before things get too bad:

1.  Remove whatever you have in your hand.  Place it away from you and child.
2.  Walk out the door, get some fresh air, sit and talk with a trusted loved one or friend.
3.  Get out of the room that the violation took place.  The longer you stay, the more frustrated you will become.
4. Avoid discussing the issue with a spouse/partner/another child that is uncaring, moody, tired--especially when you are emotional.  Chances are you and that person will get into an argument about the one who has offended you.
5.  Put on headphones.  Shutting the problem out allows you time to think clearly before reacting.
6. Stop cooking--you don't want to cause a fire.
7. Pull the car over--you don't want to cause an accident.

Someone shared with me that a relative would clean when she was stressed, this way she didn't ponder too long about what her children did.  She said, "She would spank their behinds, then continue to clean.  There was no yelling...she just sang to herself."  The issue was done, over with--unfortunately far too many mothers run issues into the ground with long rants making it difficult for them and those involved to calm down.  The key is to say what you need to say, do what you need to do as quick as possible.  If your child should challenge you, remind the smart mouth there is a place for him/her and you called jail (juvenile detention center for children), then ask, "Would you like to go?" 

Worse case scenario, call a relative who might have better control over your children and/or the police before you do something that might cause much heartache--especially if you have violent, disrespectful children or an uncaring spouse/partner.   

Nicholl McGuire


   

Sunday

On Raising Teens, Children

Back when I first started this blog, "When Mothers Cry," I was a parent of a baby, a toddler, a tween, and a soon-to-be teen.  Now that I have moved out of pre-school years into elementary school years with two boys, and am observing a middle school boy and a high school boy, I can't help but wonder sometimes, "Am I doing what is in the best interest of my children?"

There are many dynamics that play a part when it comes to raising teens from what you say and what you do to what others are doing and not doing.  Then of course in between we have teachers, peers, and anyone else with a covert or overt agenda.  I pray more nowadays and sincerely hope for the best, but my eyes don't deceive me, I see things for what they are and I sigh.  It seems at times, as parents, we have little influence as compared to the entertainers, video games, movies, and more that come into the lives of our teens.  I encourage myself, "Don't worry, you are doing the best you can...remember you were once their ages, you didn't turn out so bad."  True enough.

I think what bothers me the most about teen boys is their immaturity being encouraged by those who say things like, "Boys will be boys...take it easy...check out those girls...don't worry they will find their way."  I am personally not impressed with the lives of those who think that all a boy needs is a ball in his hand, a hot girlfriend, and some flattering words said by loved ones to build up his self-esteem and he will be okay.

As parents we have a lot of work to do when it comes to raising children and if we lack in some areas, it is up to us to seek out professional help--without excuse.  We must make the most of every moment teaching, sometimes preaching, and at times even crying--showing our children that we love them beyond what we say and do.  We must show love, embrace them, and give them guidance that will assist them in every area of their lives from education to spirituality.  There is more to life than what appeals to one's senses and we are responsible for those seeds we sow in both the short and long run.

Nicholl McGuire also maintains Parents, Babies and Children blog, click here. 

Saturday

7 Tips on Getting a Break from Children with Little or No Money

Does it seem that your children are dominating every part of your day?  If you feel overwhelmed with your children lately, here are some suggestions on how to get some free time throughout the day to catch your breath.

1.  Utilize a room in your residence that isn't dedicated to children.  If you don't have one, create a space.  This will be your time-out spot.  Explain to your children why this area is off-limits.  Reward them when they are not in that area and are keeping quiet.

2.  Busy your children with some toys/activities that they haven't done for awhile.  Electronics with headphones are a plus.  Also, most wanted new toys (without sound and have parts that stay intact) will keep their interest for awhile.  If you don't have money to buy new toys, take old ones out and rotate toys.  It will feel like Christmas all over again for them.  Take building blocks and dump them in the middle of their floor and let them create while you do what you need to do.

3.  When you can get away from your children (because someone is at home to watch them or you dropped them off elsewhere), visit with loved ones, go to a park, eat at a restaurant alone, or just sit in your car somewhere peaceful.  The needed break will rejuvenate you!

4.  Purchase popular movies (Thrift store, yard sale, online auction, bookstore) or borrow them from the local library, they will keep the children entertained for at least a couple of hours.

5.  Send children to bed early or encourage a nap or "Do Nothing" time.  This is so helpful when you need to get things done in the middle of the afternoon or late during the evening through the night.  Of course, they will put up a fuss but at least you gain your needed free time!

6.  Make plans to go to bed early then awake early (hopefully before the children get up).  This way you will be in the frame of mind to at least start what you need to do, rather than tending to their needs. 

7.  Take them to events where you are able to drop them off ie.) birthday parties, extracurricular activities, etc.)

When all else fails, always look for opportunities for help ie.) school counselors, community centers, welfare office, non-profit agencies, etc.

Nicholl McGuire  

Arkansas Mother Obliterates Common Core in 4 Minutes!


When Mothers Don't Cry - Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired


Friday

Is it Right to Make Mother's Day a Vacation Day Away from Family?

The Mother's Day holiday is like a personal day a worker takes off from his or her daily job responsibilities for many moms.  It isn't a question of right and wrong for a mother to want to be alone for Mother's Day it is simply a request.  Mom says, "I just want a day off of work." 

For some mothers, they know that if everyone comes over Mom's home--especially if she is a senior citizen, the need to advise, cook, clean, and more will kick in, so instead of feeding into those desires, she just wants peace and quiet.   Frankly, look at the many days when children and spouses could have celebrated mom during the year?  Is it so bad that Mommy doesn't want to be celebrated on a day that someone long ago said, "Make this day Mother's Day."  Maybe the family could pick another day. 

Let's keep in mind, many moms have mental and physical issues that can come during certain times of the month or are daily challenges.  You don't know what mood you are walking into when a mom is adamant about being left alone--take heed Sons and Spouses. 

Why do we assume we know what Mom is going through even if we are moms ourselves?  Why convince her that spending time with her children is best for her when we know that sometimes we are a reminder of the many sacrifices she made for us--which wasn't all good?  Let's just be honest!  Give mom a break when she says, "I'm not celebrating the holiday, but thanks for the well-wishes."

Nicholl McGuire

Saturday

Protecting Your Children from Sexually Abusive Relatives, Friends, Strangers

Whether a relative or friend is sexually abusive is unknown for many mothers, because the abuser doesn't typically give off any obvious signs that he or she has or will be abusive toward one's children.  However, in circles like: the family, the online world of dating and in many family friendly establishments there lies someone, somewhere who is an uncle, cousin, father, step-father or has other ties to a family with little girls and boys.  Their hidden issues are exposed when a child says, "Mommy, he touched me here...Daddy they do bad things over at that house...I don't want to go over there anymore."

Too often busy parents, or even lazy ones, will ignore a child's non-verbal or verbal cries for help.  In a recent news report, a mother didn't bother to go along with her 7-year-old to the bathroom at a public restaurant.  Little did she know, there was a sexually abusive patron behind the closed door.  He hurt the poor child, got away and to date, is still at large.

What are some things that parents can do to keep children safe:

1.  Keep your children in view from public restrooms to a house party, watch them and get others to help.  Don't permit children to play with adults such as:  sit on their laps, sleep in their beds, or play games like Hide 'n Seek or House.  Don't permit them to watch movies and shows with sexual scenes and conversation.  All of these things can happen if you are not paying attention to your children.
2.  Don't assume a relative, friend or even stranger is trustworthy because he or she has kids too.  Watch how the children behave with one another.  Are they acting in ways that are inappropriate for children their age?  Do the children wrestle, hand-hold, hug, kiss, and touch one another in ways that make you feel uncomfortable?  Chances are they have seen or experienced something sexual at home.
3.  Notice a partner or relative's interest in pornography.  It doesn't matter the type, ask yourself, "What is going on in this man's mind that he feels the need to look at nude people having sex during his private time?"  Be wary of him.  Also, if he is very flirtatious, likes to touch, stares at the young women's and girl's bodies, and makes so-called playful, sexual comments about everyone (boys too), keep your kids at a distance.
4.  At home, break nightly routines at times.  Stay up later and periodically check on your child through the night.  Do the same when staying at someone else's home or have them sleep in the room with you.  Ask a partner or relative, "Was there something wrong the reason why you went in Johnny's room?"  Notice how long he or she is in there and listen at the door.  Don't worry over offending the person and don't respond when they become defensive.
5.  Converse with your child about his or her body parts and ask questions, "Does anything hurt?  How do you feel when (fill in the person's name) is around?  How does this person make you feel?  Does he or she do things that make you feel afraid or say bad things when I'm not around?  Did he ever tell you not to tell me anything or else he would hurt you?"
6.  Tell other children to pay attention when the parent or relative is around certain children.  Talk with them as well.  Sometimes abusers target the one who is the weakest and the least likely to share secrets.
7.  Set up recording devices when you have that nagging feeling in your gut that doesn't seem to go away about someone your child is around.  There is a good possibility that someone else or something non-related to abuse might be going on that is keeping you anxious.  Don't leave the child with this person who makes you feel uncomfortable anymore (even if you don't have any proof).  This way you will be less likely to have a major falling out with the relative or friend just in case he is innocent of wrong-doing.

There are women who sexually abuse their children as well or are accomplices to such despicable acts.  Some will do such things because a boyfriend has put them up to doing such things.  Other times these women have been abused themsleves and don't think too much about whether what they do with their own children is right or wrong especially when money is involved.  A mother reasons, "Well, their dad has bought us nice things, keeps a roof over our heads...I won't say anything...maybe he will get better."

Keep in mind, men who think they can get away with abusive acts will target single mothers who have children.  These trusting moms will permit these men to come into their lives because they believe they are "good."  But the reality is that there is more to a lonely man besides his looks, a charming smile and gifts, he is by himself for good reason and it is up to a discerning mom to figure out why he is divorced more than once, alone, or doesn't have an amicable relationship with his ex. 

Naive moms believe what they want to hear, smart moms do some investigating!

Nicholl McGuire, author of When Mothers Cry

 
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