You know you better than anyone, so if you are dealing with an aging parent and all that comes with her, you will have to do whatever it takes to be at peace and ensure the parent's safety. Unfortunately, for those who prefer to fight with Mom, rather than do what is in the best interest of her while keeping your sanity, here are some tips.
1. List her mental and physical issues and start seeking out the support groups in your area to help. There are various non-profit organizations that key in on certain issues while there are churches who have an extensive resource list of available help.
2. Talk to mom about your concerns when things aren't so tense. Not everyday is an awful day for mom even though she might claim otherwise. When she is less nervous, argumentative, stressed, etc. speak truth and watch how you talk to her. Leave name-calling and yelling out of the conversation. If you can't do it, converse with a sibling who might be better equipped to have a heart-to-heart with mom.
3. Find the time to visit Mom only when you are up to it and don't always bring your children. Some mothers are battling with PMDD, post-partum, menopause and other health issues, so the last thing you want to do is be in stuck in the room with a miserable Mom who is still angry about someone or something. Watch your calendar and plan conversations and visits with Mom when you are less stressed. When a Mom is going through much difficulty, the last thing you want to do is put your children in the line of fire or witness the two of you go at it. Limit the amount of time you spend with your mother and if you aren't in the mood to cook, clean, or do whatever else needs to be done, enlist some help without causing problems between siblings and others. If they don't want to help, so be it, they have a right to feel the way they do. Find other sources.
4. Ignore Mom's negative attitude and mean-spirited behavior when you know she is mentally-ill. What will arguing with her resolve? Remind yourself, "One day Mom is going to die and I don't want to have any regrets...I did the best I could."
5. If you have already been angry, ugly, and crazy acting with Mom, forgive yourself, apologize to Mom, but move on. Pay closer attention to your emotions and create some space between you and your Mom so that you won't dishonor her again. But if you should, make peace and ask your Creator for guidance.
One of the saddest cries that any son or daughter can have is when Mom is gone. Live your best life with Mom now, so that you will be at peace when she is no more.