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Monday

Your Partner Thinks He is Your Daddy

Just when you thought you couldn't take much more, your partner acts controlling like your father.  He tells you where to go, what to do, what to buy, etc.  You look at this man like he is a fool.  "You got to be kidding, right?  Just because I call you Daddy sometimes didn't mean that you could start acting like him..."  Calling one's husband or boyfriend "Dad" or "Daddy" is a mistake of many fatherless women.  You don't ever call your husband/boyfriend a title that isn't an accurate portrayal of him especially if you don't want to be controlled by him.  One gives her mate unspeakable power and control like that of a parent.  He subconsciously thinks he can mold and shape his wife like a child and treat her like the children--even teens will eventually rebel against this sort of thing with their own parents.

So here this man stands before you (or maybe someone you know) breathing like he is about to expel fire from his nose with eyes almost demonic like.  He shouts you down, threatens, or even calls you a name or two.  The children either witness the commotion or in the next room they are oblivious to what is happening.  Something on the inside arises in you and every negative emotion that you had for your own father comes flowing like a river.

In the book by Nicholl McGuire, author of When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books, she has created a thought-provoking guide to getting free from the emotional ties that bind daughters and sons to controlling fathers, emotionally unavailable Dads, and others. 

When one repeatedly argues with his or her mate in ways that trigger negative childhood memories, something happens during various stages of life that reminds us, "You have issues."  In Nicholl's work, the challenges are how we deal or don't deal with difficult fathers and other toxic men in our lives and how to break free emotionally, spiritually and more.  So when you are ready to sever toxic ties, Nicholl's book, Say Goodbye to Dad is here to help.

Tuesday

Mothers and Stepmothers - Competition is None

What is the use talking badly about the mother of children regardless of her title?  Why bother to tell everyone how much money you spend, what you bought for the kids, and everything else to make your Facebook page look important?  Yet some mothers and stepmothers are guilty of this!  Outsiders looking in, especially the childfree, see that mother and stepmother are doing the best they can, but they can also see when one or both are acting evilly.

Move the egos out the way competitive women!  Allow those mothers (grandmothers, step-mothers, play mothers, god mothers, mother-in-laws, etc.) in your life some breathing room.  The problem with school breaks, major and minor holidays as well as other child related activities is that competitive, insecure women don't know when to stand down primarily because the men in their lives aren't speaking up.  So the mother from the original family gets an upper hand or is forgot about, treated poorly, etc. (depending on the situation) while the stepmother turns controlling or is frequently disrespected, because the heads of households or supposedly the heads (fathers) are not handling their business right from the start!

A child should never feel like he or she can't talk to their biological mother and a stepmother shouldn't be made to feel like she is being used.  But all too often this happens, because men, seeking substitutes for children, sell the new women in their lives a bag of false gold.  Before long, the biological mother is wondering, "What the h*ll is going on?"  Those women who are proactive in the lives of their children will not always play nicely or fairly.  There will be moments where these moms will stand on their soapboxes and express their feelings and so will other mother figures.  "Playing nicely ladies..." just won't cut it coming from the well-wishers.

Far too often, women let lazy, controlling, or downright ignorant men get away with much and then when the going gets tough, the guilty parties remove themselves from all circles of confusion that could have been prevented.  Instead of Dad picking up and dropping off children, he is allowing the stepmother, who is already insecure, to show up at the doorstep of his former partner.  Rather than Dad reaching an understanding with the mothers in his life when it comes to children, he pits them against one another by talking negatively about each.

Wake up women and don't let these devious men come between you, your children and grandchildren!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry, Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and Say Goodbye to Dad.

Saturday

Competitive Mothers - Why Do They Think They Need to Prove Anything?

She tells you about everything she is into, shares about her children's achievements almost daily (especially on Facebook), mentions "what you ought to or should do" if she feels the least bit worried you are doing better than her.  You realize the competitive Mom is competing with you, because for every one statement you make, she has three or four that sounds better than yours or worst depending on how she thinks.

Some mothers don't realize they are not making friends when they act in boastful ways.  They don't bother to think how they make others feel when they dominate conversations talking about all they and children do.  It isn't any wonder that most of their friendships come to a swift end.

When I first came across some competitive mothers, I didn't have any children at the time, so I couldn't relate to conversations where mother talks about what she has, where she has been and what her children are up to, etc. a mile a minute.  But what I did hear in those boring conversations (for a young person back then) were jealous, insecure women who felt that they had to prove that they were "good," "better," "know better," etc.  They were oftentimes jealous of others especially those of us (in the past) who had no children and was able to do much with our free time.  At times these women were insecure, because their husbands hadn't validated them in years, so along comes attractive 20 something year olds and now they feel they had to teach  the young people a thing or two.  Now this was decades ago for me, but I remember those times. 

Presently with four children of my own, married, and living each day like it's the last one, I have little patience for the braggarts.  We might have parallel lives, but I'm not interested in playing a competitive game of who has it worst or who has it best.  Can we just talk?

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, Say Goodbye to Dad, and other books.

Tuesday

Parents Putting Personal Fears on Their Children - Blocking God's Will

Are you the worried or fearful parent who keeps their child or children from doing what he or she wants like attending a college far away, marriage, relocation, etc.?

Click here to listen:  Vocaroo Voice Message

Sunday

Too Much Noise, Movement - Be Quiet, Still

Sometimes one has to sit down and just be in the moment.  This means there is no blaring TV on, no headphones on ears, the cell phone is off, spouse and children are either asleep or outdoors.  Moments of peace brings solutions to problems, helps with healing, and brings some sanity to a troubled mind.

I have done this and I can tell you it works wonders!  I didn't make excuses, fault-find or worry how I was going to get the time to be one with myself and my Lord, I just did it!  Rather than fill that quiet time with chores and draining phone calls, try sitting down and being quiet.

The noise of people and things can be overwhelming.  Some sounds are just far too loud especially if you are going through your menstrual cycle.  It isn't necessary that children have to play with every loud toy or have games on without headphones.  Take control of the noise and the movement sometimes in your home, and you just might get some of those quiet activities you have been putting off for quite sometime complete like praying for starters while waiting for your heavenly Father's answers.

Nicholl McGuire author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic and other books.
 

Dealing with Sudden Death or the Loss of a Child


Monday

7 Things to Do with and for Children Before School Starts

It is never too early to consider what needs to be done concerning the children before they go back to school.  With budgets being limited, time and patience being few and far in between, a mother has to exercise those time management skills and also be somewhat of a prophetess.  Future predictions include:


1.  Your children will forget some of the important information they learned/struggled with in certain subjects and will need a refresher; otherwise, those headaches helping with homework will return.  Make time to pull out some worksheets (at least once a week) and get those minds going again.


2.  They will have outgrown many of their things.  Is there a budget in place to ensure that their back to school wardrobe is suitable?


3.  They most likely will not be able to tend to everything you want them to during the summer which will roll over into the school year.  Tackle the "To Do" lists that you both have.  Did your son/daughter get to do the main things that they wanted this summer?  Have you got them to help you with your chore list?


4.  Health issues that you put off concerning children will not go away and will only get worse.  Cut the chronic problems off as soon as possible.  Do you really want them to miss school and cause you to miss some work days too over issues that should have long ago been addressed?


5.  Have children visited with the people they really wanted to this summer?  Sometimes relatives/friends can be a big help, so why not make arrangements for the kids to see them.  Don't let an entire summer pass by and they don't get to see the people who mean so much to them (even if you don't care for those folks).


6.  Converse with older and younger ones about all sorts of things.  From how they dealt with past school challenges to what their plans might be for next summer.  It is better to outline goals now and work toward them, then be faced with issues throughout the year that could have been handled before school started.


7.  Put money aside for needed school supplies.  There are those that the stores put out and then there are supplies that accompany teacher's lesson plans.  Don't spend money buying a bunch of things now that may not be needed.  Focus on the essentials and if you can talk with someone who is familiar with the teacher or grade level, then do so and plan accordingly.


Hope this list helps someone out there.  The less you have to deal with prior to the school bell ringing, the better.


Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry

Saturday

Cut Some of Those Tasks Down this Holiday

Find the short-cuts when it comes to preparing meals this holiday.  Fall back on some of those other things you typically do if they take up too much time and energy.  Avoid traveling with little ones if you have to.  Overall, make your day easy--you can do it!  So what you forgot to make a dish, missed an engagement, or have some people at home angry with you.  Relax.  You are not superwoman so don't try to be.  If people are disappointed, critical, or moody because of you, let them!  Apologize and keep it moving or say nothing and keep on smiling! 

America is not the only country that's independent, you are too even if you are married and have children!  You can think independently, make your own decisions and take care of yourself.  Your world doesn't revolve around family.  So if you don't feel like doing something, you prefer to take a break, and you really aren't in the mood to talk, well guess what?  Give yourself permission to be free!

No more crying, complaining or cursing today.  Be blessed in the land of the free!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7
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This freelance writer, author, wife, and mother of four has been writing for almost 20 years about a wide variety of topics ranging from spiritual experiences to self-improvement products. Nicholl has also been a leasing consultant for multi-family dwelling complexes and an events planner in Euclid OH. During 2004 she relocated to San Diego CA and continued leasing apartments to singles and families. In 2006, she became a community manager at an elderly housing complex in downtown Los Angeles. Since then she has been working as a writer from home. Nicholl self-published her first book entitled, "Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate." For more information about the book visit Amazon.com She has another book also on Amazon, entitled, "When Mothers Cry" as well as other books. For more of her work, feel free to stop by Blurb.com. There she has creative photo and journal books. If you have benefited in any way from Nicholl's writing, please do take a moment to show support, buy any one of her books, share her posts, subscribe or comment. Be blessed!

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